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Stephanie | 18 | Personal account Check out: j-une12th.tumblr.com

Got to be part of a historic event with these people!! Light of peace 2014 :)

Got to be part of a historic event with these people!! Light of peace 2014 :)

In one photo with my favorite girls in the world! unquestionably the realest friends one could possibly ever have ❀️

In one photo with my favorite girls in the world! unquestionably the realest friends one could possibly ever have ❀️

10 month old me with mommy #throwback #tbt πŸ‘ΆπŸ’–

10 month old me with mommy #throwback #tbt πŸ‘ΆπŸ’–

most treasured girls in my life!!!

most treasured girls in my life!!!

starbucks with my gwapitong paborito!!

starbucks with my gwapitong paborito!!

nights like this i think about why i deserve to feel like Im the worst kind of person one has to deal with. never thought a late delivered reply would bring out the worst in this situation. Again, unpleasant words were thrown at each other, feelings got beyond fucked up, hearts burnt, minds corrupted, and egos got hurt. i dont know why it has to be this complicated. I dont understand why one has to make a fucking late reply to a text a very big deal when it’s not even in a life and death situation. Things were better before. he was patient and he used to do all the understanding just make me feel comfortable. But im not so sure about it now. Who wouldve thought it would end up like this, right? maybe it’s only because change is constant. Im just afraid of not being strong enough to handle more of this.

with the people who made this year’s dinagyang festival a memorable one for me :) x

with the people who made this year’s dinagyang festival a memorable one for me :) x

I’ve always thought of myself as someone different. different in a way that only a few people can get close to my life and know me very well. for some reasons, i always reject people to come into my life and be part of it. first, because it’s a fact that no one is bound to stay in my life til the end. and I’ve proven that to myself a handful of times already. I was never like this before; not even close. but as i went through life and trusted a lot of people, reality came up-close to me and rubbed it to my face that i am not the kind of person that one would die for just to have me in their lives. so why would i even try to keep people from cutting me off if they dont voluntarily want me? i mean, isnt it that if a person wants you in their life, theyd accept you for who you are and doesnt try or even FORCE you to change? reality also slapped me the fact that i cant really trust other people, even those who’s always been there for me since the beginning. because in the end, it’s a selfish world. truth be told, we don’t want to let anything hurt us physically, emotionally and in any other possible way because we would do literally anything and everything just to save ourselves. what i realized is that I’m just a normal teenager with a different perspective in life. I make friends, i break the rules, i commit myself in a relationship with the opposite sex, i do my responsibilities as a student, i strive to make my parents proud, i put god in the center of everything i do, and i live my life the way i want it to be. but it’s never enough. because for me, i should always go for what’s gonna make me happy even though it’s wrong and doesnt feel right. because i know that once i get through this phase, I surely will be able to get things together. And if that moment comes, standing in this world by myself wouldn’t be so new to me.


- Steph

01/25/14